Wow, I have really been slacking on these posts haven't I? At least compared to in February and in March, during which I wrote ten posts--April is almost over and I've only managed to write three posts! So because I have been a tad lazy on the blogging, you get two posts today! Lucky you, hahaha (in my defense though, I have been bogged down by homework, exams, a bad cold, and just sheer laziness). Also, since I started writing the previous post late last night it was technically meant for yesterday.
As I may have mentioned previously, I am not very good at making friends, nor am I good at making conversation. I'm also painfully shy, anti-social, and introverted to a fault. I have friends of course, and though I see some of them quite often I'm not that close to them. And the friends that I'm closest to are the ones that I speak in Mandarin to (since it is the common language among us all), which frustrates me sometimes as there are times where I just can't seem to fully articulate what I'm trying to say.
So earlier this week, I decided, to hell with this timidness of mine! I'm going to try to get out more, talk to more people, be more open and more friendly! So starting last Monday, my goal was to try to initiate conversation with at least one person I didn't know very well every day. That includes classmates, acquaintances, and friends that I am not that close with, because the point of this wasn't just about talking to more people, to different people, but also to strengthen the friendships I already had. Strange as it might seem, my purpose is not to make more friends--that would be nice, but it's not my main focus and would just be an added bonus. I guess I am just trying to become more comfortable with social interaction and to be a little more outgoing (I'll be honest--I even Google'd "How to be more outgoing").
Of course that's a lot easier said than done, especially when you're as timid and introverted as I am. I didn't expect to just overnight become a social butterfly, nor did I expect that I would get much conversation during the first few weeks. I did expect to make some mistakes or miss some opportunities but that's okay; when setting a goal like this for yourself, I think it is best not to expect too much: be realistic and have expectations but don't set your expectations too high. It's so easy to feel discouraged that you're not making new friends or meeting new people and to want to give up. But just go at it step by step and know that all successes count, whether they be little or big. And even if I never become outgoing or completely comfortable in social settings that's okay too, because I at least know I tried.
So how has my personal mission been going so far? Pretty good actually--I've managed to talk or chat with at least one new person everyday although sometimes they were the ones to initiate the conversation and not me, but as I said, baby steps. Last night, I was even down in the lobby until around midnight catching up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile, meeting some of their friends, and playing card games and board games with them--it was quite fun. Of course that doesn't mean that I've automatically made a whole bunch of new friends, but I did manage to become closer with some of my friends and well, I've certainly been less lonely this past week.
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